


Know Thy Enemy

by mini_puffs



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, Fluff, Inspired by Twitter, Oneshot, Promposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26003581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mini_puffs/pseuds/mini_puffs
Summary: “She’s trying to organize a prom?” Sleepy asks, tilting her head. That’s new—the only thing DT can organize effectively is causing social chaos in the student population every week. “When’s it happening?”“Next Saturday!” A voice chirps from behind her, someone’s arms slinging around her waist. The smile on DT’s face is teetering on the edge of “excited” and onto “unhinged maniac” which goes to show how the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. “Now that you know, do ya wanna go to prom with me, Sleepy?”Or: How Sleepy gets asked out to prom with the most chaotic girl she knows.
Relationships: Dttwt/Sleepytwt
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	Know Thy Enemy

**Author's Note:**

> so...those mcyt fandom-sonas huh?
> 
> who is who? :  
> twt = twitter, these are the fandom sonas of some mcytbers fandoms on there!  
> Sleepy = SleepyTwt (sleepy boys inc - technoblade, ph1lza, wilbur soot)  
> Happy = Happytwt (happy twitter - skeppy and badboyhalo)  
> DT = Dttwt (dream team - dream, georgenotfound, sapnap)  
> BW = Bwtwt (bedwars youtubers - astelic, gamerboy80, sammy green, purpled, etc.)  
> 

The whole debacle happens, like the majority of terrible things in Sleepy’s life, on a Monday morning. A Monday morning, three minutes after first period, when her brain is fried from learning about literature quotes of Shakespeare or some other pretentious writer as if one of her family members isn’t an English major (dropped out, but that’s beside the point). A Monday morning, not even a Minecraft one, if anything it’s the “die after five years in hardcore” Monday morning. Apparently, her teacher thinks it’s a _marvelous_ idea to assign a bunch of sleep-deprived teens an essay on the book due by the end of the week and Sleepy shoves her notebook into her locker, relishing in the slam it makes as it closes.

Happy jumps next to her, glasses askew. Sleepy opens her mouth to apologize before noticing the stack of flyers in her hands, a logo of a dress, and bright green glitter that her brain redirects to that. “What are the posters for?” She asks.

Happy glances down at them like she just noticed they were there. “Oh, these?” She yawns. Maybe it’s time for both of them to get a name change; her eye bags speak for themselves. “It’s for—“ Another yawn. “—for DT. She asked me to help her put them up.”

Clearly, DT didn’t realize that Happy is in no condition to function. Mondays do that to everyone, however, Sleepy’s seen the increased damage it does to her. “Another fight?” She concludes. Happy nods. “What’d they fight about this time?”

"Roberto.”

“Roberto?” She says, recalling this exact conversation from a week or two ago. Talking to everyone in school is like talking to NPCs sometimes. “Again?”

“No.” Happy rubs her eyes. “The fourteenth one.”

“There’s fourteen..?”

“Technically, three right now, they all died.”

There’s a reason Sleepy’s family doesn’t invite them to dinner as often anymore. Nodding, she takes half of the stack from Happy’s hands who mumbles a quick thank you. The words “PROM” in bright green take up the entire center and Sleepy holds it up. “Prom?”

“You haven’t heard?” Happy stares at her. “I thought DT told you--oh well, she’s trying to organize one.”

DT doesn’t tell her anything, but then again Sleepy knows what’s going on regardless. “She’s trying to organize a prom?” She says, tilting her head. That’s new—the only thing DT can organize is social chaos in the school every week or so. “When’s it happening?”

“Next Saturday!” A voice chirps from behind her, someone’s arms slinging around her waist. Speak of the devil--DT’s glasses dig into her back and Sleepy gently extricates herself from her grasp, only for DT to hug her tighter. Okay then. It’s too early for human contact but for her, Sleepy doesn’t mind. “Why’d you have to tell her?” DT whines, pouting at Happy. “I wanted it to be a surprise!”

“Surprise,” Sleepy repeats flatly. The whole school probably knows about this if that’s the case.

“Yeah!” DT beams, her eyes shining and the smile on her face teetering on the edge of “excited” and onto “unhinged maniac.” The apple didn’t fall far from the tree. The green smiley face on her black hoodie seems to mirror her expression, glowing in the cheap-ass school lights, and her green skirt swishes back and forth as she pulls Sleepy down to her eye level. Her hair’s combed back into a neat ponytail unlike the usual messy bun it’s in, lips as pink as Sleepy’s hair. She doesn’t wear makeup unless she has something to ask— “Now that you know,” she says, “do ya wanna go to prom with me, Sleepy?”

Sleepy blinks. Once. Twice, and the curious expression on DT’s face remains the same.

_Eh?_

Is she serious?

Everyone in the hallways stares at them with the announcement of a promposal and Happy shrugs with a smile when Sleepy glances at her, the goddamn traitor. Someone has a phone out recording, either Innit or someone else. She’ll kill them later, right after she’s attended to whatever the hell is going on in DT’s head. Why, why ask her? On a Monday, in a crowded hallway, the whole student body watching them, their (mainly Sleepy’s, DT’s is already tainted enough) reputations at stake? The last conversation they had was about their families, not a single hint of prom ever. There are at least a dozen other people in the crowd that Sleepy could see as a better date than her that actually look _good._ While DT’s dolled up and ready to go for a first date, strawberry-scented perfume-making her head swim, Sleepy’s outfit is an amalgamation of her family's old clothes which probably haven’t been washed since last week. A funny pair they must make, but now’s not the time because everyone is watching and Sleepy’s brain can’t work for shit--

DT steps on her foot. Her smile wavers and she leans next to her ear. “Sorry, about this,” she whispers. “It’s a publicity stunt, but if you want, you can say no--”

Sleepy whips around to face her. Like _hell_ she’s backing out, her family did not raise a coward, peer pressure be damned. “Sure,” she says, heart pounding loudly enough she's sure all the cameras have recorded it. “Why the--why the hell not?”

Mistake number one.

“You will?!” DT shrieks, jumping up and banging her forehead against hers. “Oh _shit,_ I’m sorry, but really?!”

“Yes.” She’s lucky Phil’s hat is tougher than steel.

“Let’s fucking _go!”_ DT’s smile is brighter than any sun, and she knocks them both to the ground after throwing her arms around her in a tight hug. Sleepy’s back presses against the linoleum tiles, DT right on top of her as if it’s those dumb fanservice scenes that she sees in shoujo manga but the roles are reversed. Before she can push her off her, DT pulls her back up and whatever dignity Sleepy had left is now gone as the cameras go off like crazy, flashes and snaps as her brief moment of vulnerability is forever immortalized on the Internet. Her family is going to kill her. Or laugh, who knows.

Either way, that makes mistake number two.

The crowd whoops and erupts into cheers. There’s a wolf-whistle or two and DT clutches her hand, squeezing it tightly with a smile that makes Sleepy’s knees go weak. What the fuck, what the hell, God abandoned the timeline a long, long time ago. There’s no way she’ll be able to make it to the end of the day--maybe this is a dream, a very vivid dream, and if that’s the case Sleepy wouldn’t exactly mind if she never woke up. DT’s hands are soft and warm, much like herself and as the bell rings for the next period, she presses a quick kiss to Sleepy’s cheek and winks.

_Eh?_

_“ Pog!”_ DT raises two fingers in a mock salute, blowing a kiss towards her as if her brain wasn’t charred enough. “See ya, Sleepy.”

Mistake number three, three strikes, and Sleepy is _out._ DT’s teasing her at this point, and Sleepy turns the other direction, mind swimming.

_What the_ fuck _just happened?_

* * *

“Sleepy. Sleepy? Hello? Do your shoes need shining? Sleepy?”

Sleepy looks up from her history textbook, a permanent Sleepy-faced indent in the pages. “BW, you can stop now,” she says. “You said it wrong anyway.”

“Sorry, had to check if you were still alive.” BW chuckles, tossing her hair back, the black and white strands in a neat braid on her back. She puts her hood up (purple today) and sneaks a glance to make sure the teacher isn’t looking at them. “Did DT really ask you out though?!” She asks, disbelief clear in her tone.

Why. Just why. Sleepy slams her head down on the desk again, ignoring the stares. It’s barely lunch and the news has spread like wildfire throughout the school, almost everyone offering their congrats to both of them. “You know, you should ask that again but louder, I don’t think they heard you back there.”

“I’m just askin’.” She drums her fingers against the desk. “I didn’t know you two were a thing."

“We aren’t.” Sleepy regrets everything. “It was to get people’s attention for the prom thing.” Rummaging through her bag, she hands her a spare flyer. “Here.”

BW makes a small “oh” sound and hums, continuing to tap something out on the table. Muscle memory. “So, she _did_ ask you out?”

“Yes.”

“Simp.”

“Simp,” Sleepy agrees. Couldn’t have worded it better, thank the lord for BW. “She’s a total simp.”

“Only for _you,”_ she sing-songs.

Yup, god does not exist. Sleepy kicks her under the desk, listening to the beautiful sound of her scream and anguish. It eases some of the tension in her stomach as she replays the events of the morning in her mind, rewinding and fast-forwarding her memory to process it. Prom is happening, check. DT is the one organizing prom, also check. DT asked her out in front of the whole school and kissed her on the cheek and what the _hell_ was that, what the _fuck_ was she thinking--

“Okay, but for real,” BW says, interrupting her thoughts. “She asked you out—why do you look so...sad? Don’t you wanna go to prom with her?”

_Does_ she? They’ve been good friends for years, and DT only asked to gain traction for the event which she’s already achieved, so there’s always the option of backing out. “I-I do.”

“Then what’s wrong?” BW continues. “Is it your family?”

Oh fuck, her family. To be honest, they’ll take it well, might be a little confused and Tommy might laugh in her face but otherwise, okay. “Uh, not really.”

“Do you like her?”

What kinda question is that? “Duh, we’re friends—“

“Do you _like like_ her?”

At this point, Sleepy might as well be talking to Happy, but she snores soundly aside from them. Poor kid. Wait no, Happy talked to BW before their conversation—these are definitely her questions. “The kindergarten is across the street—“

“But do you?” BW grins from ear to ear.

Sleepy bites her lip and buries her face in the textbook pages. Romance isn’t a department she’s prepared for, even though at least two of the people in her family have a wife and girlfriend. Her lessons as a kid were how to demolish the patriarchy and dominate the other children, not basic social cues. DT’s nice, a little chaotic and possibly a psycho in the making thanks to her home life, but kind overall, at least to her. She’s smart and sneaky, knows exactly how to get a crowd’s attention, if the stunt she pulled earlier wasn’t enough confirmation. Her jokes are the only ones Sleepy laughs at and she finds hers hilarious in return. Obviously, DT’s pretty, manages to look perfect every second of the day after causing anarchy, killer smile always on her face and so what if Sleepy stares at her sometimes, it’s normal. Everything there is about makeup and fashion she learned from DT. She misses the days they’d spend sprawled on each other’s bedroom floors, ranting about the craziness of their households and braiding each other’s hair (hers was longer back then, now it’s short, stiff, and dry pink) while old Twitch VODS played in the background. It’s not like they can’t now, but DT’s much busier now with the proverbial school spotlight on her. Sleepy’s support can only do so much and she’d give anything to go back to those times, let DT rest her head on her shoulder, and tell her everything would turn out alright. Come to think of it, earlier, in the brief second where she had her back pressed against the floor with DT on top, she had _enjoyed_ it, and even now she loves the way she made her heart race and soar. She can feel the ghost of DT’s lips on her cheek and wonders what it’d be like for that again, but on _her_ mouth, her face, her neck--

_Oh._

She needs to go to horny jail.

_Fuck._

Fuck her in a field of potatoes and impale her with an ax. DT would attend the funeral, strap her body to a fan with the help of Innit or something, and take a selfie for clout, say a few kind words. Better yet, cradle her dying body as she bleeds out in the farm fields, her blood gracing the soils with good harvest for years to come. Now that’s metal as fuck. Love is beautiful. “No comment,” Sleepy answers, voice muffled by the book and face on fire.

BW doesn’t press any further, but she can see her text something on her phone with a smile that tells her all she needs to know. Number two on her hit list now, right below DT.

“No phones in class!” The teacher yells, making them both jolt.

Happy wakes up and screams. “Guava is a fruit!”

BW puts it away while Sleepy consoles her. “Bruh,” she says.

Certified bruh moment indeed. Sleepy can’t wait for this whole day to be over.  
  


* * *

“Catch me!”

Sleepy barely has time to register the words as someone barrels into her and hops up, her arms holding them in a bridal carry style. DT laughs sound like wedding bells in her mind, people outside pausing to gawk at them between classes. Fuck off. She can’t have any witnesses for the murder she’s about to commit and for a child of a family that does manhunts for a living, DT made herself an easy target.

“Woah, I didn’t think you’d actually catch me,” DT comments, oblivious to the bloodlust (at least that’s what Sleepy hopes she looks like, adrenaline is coursing through her veins) in her catcher’s eyes. She whips her brown hair back and it slaps her across the face. A stun—it’s soft and her shampoo smells like gunpowder and cinnamon—she underestimated her. DT giggles and Sleepy has the urge to lean down and kiss her, right then and there. “Yo, poggers.”

“Pog,” she says for the sake of it. Her body is heavy for her small size and _damn_ those muscles. “Where were you?” Can’t have her dying without knowing what she last did.

“Oh, you know, the usual.” DT examines her fingernails, the black nail polish chipping. “Aw.” She frowns. “We got on trending by the way.”

“We did?!” Letting her down, Sleepy takes her phone and scrolls through the feed. Dozens of photos and videos of the promposal fill the timeline and she’s glad she put her phone on silent because her family is no doubt, going to be confused as hell. “Oh, dang.”

DT swipes it back and pulls up a photo of none other than the infamous strawberry dress. “You’ve got this, right?”

All murder plans go out the window. “Um, yes?”

“Great, I have the black dress with the puffy sleeves,” she rambles on as they begin walking across campus. “We can match!” She pauses. “Actually, according to the media statistics, only a small percentage of people haven’t heard of the dresses. There’ll be like, twenty million people with it. Do you have any other dresses? I mean, it doesn’t have to be a dress, you can wear pants, or pajamas, or show up naked. That’d be iconic--oh!” She shakes her arm. “Show up covered in fake blood! Or the blood of your enemies, that’ll work too.” Always a possibility. Her pace slows down and tone turns softer. “Thanks for earlier--a lot of people agreed to help us out with the planning and stuff so it might happen this weekend instead! I can pick you up at least three hours before, since I’m still in charge, and my family’s cool with us. What about yours?” Again, Sleepy has no desire to turn on her phone and read their texts. When she doesn’t reply right away, DT stops and steps in front of her, lip trembling. Her smile wipes off her face, doubt and regret settling in. “You--you’re okay with going--going with me, right? I’m really sorry for springing that on you earlier and if you don’t wanna, it’s fine, we got the clout we needed--”

“DT.”

“Oh my _god,”_ she moans and puts her hood on, tightening it with the strings and covering her face. “I kissed you in front of _everyone_ too, I’m _so sorry--”_

“DT, I’m gonna need you to stop talking for five seconds,” Sleepy finally says, getting a sentence in. DT shuts up, thank god. She chews her lip, choosing her next words carefully. She may have had an existential crisis last period, but she didn’t plan this conversation at all. “I’m...okay.”

“Good?” DT removes her hood and stares at her.

Somebody end her. Sleepy looks away, fighting the heat rising in her cheeks. “I’ll go--I’ll go to prom. With you,” she adds. There’s a lot of cracks in the cement, interesting, that really says a lot about their school's image. Might need to get that fixed soon.

“Are you sure?” DT tilts her head, grabbing her hand and bringing her to look up. She’s making it very difficult for Sleepy to give a coherent answer with these tactics, the fuck-- “Are you absolutely positive?”

_“Yes!”_ She says much louder than intended. Oh well, best to get it over with-- “I like you!”

“Ha, me too, pogchamp.” DT laughs and Sleepy wishes she could deck her until this dumbass registers what she said. How the hell is someone this dense? There’s no Sun Tzu quote for this bullshit. The bell rings, signaling the end of their break and she begins walking away. “Meet me here after lunch!” She yells. “We can talk more later!”

“Wait!” Grabbing her arm, Sleepy swings her around to face her. “I--” Is she gonna have to say it again? With everyone watching once more? No, no, no, she’s sorry-- “--I--why me?” She decides. “Happy was there. Innit was too. I think BW was somewhere else, but why’d you ask me?”

How the turns have tabled. DT’s face turns light pink and she laughs nervously, rubbing the back of her head. “Heh, because.”

“Because?”

“Why not.” She shrugs.

She’s lucky there’s no wall or locker nearby because Sleepy would’ve bashed her head into it already. “You are, the most _insufferable_ human being I have ever met and I cannot—“

“Boop!” DT taps her nose and in the brief _eh?_ moment Sleepy has to register the absurdity of it, she grabs both of her shoulders and presses a kiss to her forehead, grinning. “I know what you mean,” she says softly, twirling around and putting a peace sign up. “Love ya!”

That’s a bit early for their psuedo-relationship, but Sleepy smiles nonetheless, not even trying to hide the giddy feeling rising in her chest. “Love you too, idiot. Later?”

“Later.”

Prom is going to be wild.

**Author's Note:**

> [the words “THIS IS A JOKE” flashes repeatedly in the background]  
> every fic I write I think i’ve written the most cursed and crack idea ever and every next fic I am disappointed in myself for setting the bar too low, but this has gotta be it, thanks for reading the crackfic of the century! <3


End file.
